Camp Q has been an utter bore so far. Nothing but dumb girls and dumb counselors and boring activities and....Ugh, it's absolutely awful. I hate my dumb mother for sending me here. I hope she dies in a terrible crash and never says any of the dumb things she says ever, ever again. That's honestly the only good thing about C.Q. I'm far away from monsters like Mummy and Hummy. Though I do miss poor, hunky Humbert. I miss how pathetically he's in love with me. And the pimply paperboy. And the popcorn boy. And park boy under the picnic table. Boys, boys, boys...
2
The cattle are lowing, the baby's awake. I'm the baby, and the cattle are the stinking, smelling heifers surrounding me that are snoring their Goddam faces off and making it utterly impossible to sleep! I hate Camp Q. I hate nature and the outdoors. I'll die without ever sleeping again. While everyone else gets to dream of kissing Quilty's and mashing Bogarts, here I sit, wide awake. Can't everyone just leave me alone? Can't I just be a nobody, that nobody knows and everyone leaves alone? I hate my detestable mother for putting me in this awful place. I hate her so much and I hate C.Q. so much and I just wish both of them were long gone and dead.
3
It is incredibly unfair that I have to be stuck with all these mopey mary-janes. There's not one exciting thing to look at. As far as the eyes can see there's nothing but pigs and cows of the girl variety all chewing cuds of chef's surprise, and dumbly smiling with bits of cud still stuck in their braced teeth. They're all boring and have nothing funny to say and completely bore me. Just like my dumb ole moms. Both are so boring and should really just be erased. This one girl barbara's not completely terrible. Barbara said that I'm the only other girl that's made it out to willow island. She said tomorrow she's gonna take me in her canoe after lights out to the island to meet Charlie and goof off.
4
It's been a while since I wrote you. Guess I was too busy goofing off.... I don't goof off with Charlie anymore. It was all stupid and boring anyway. Grownups make such a deal about it and really it ain't squat. You just lay on the ground and get your butt dirty and feel dumb and silly about how dumb and silly you probably look laying there with your bare ass on the wet ground, but then everything around you is so serious and peaceful so you just quietly wait until the goof is off and you can put your underwear back on and go sit in your stupid cabin and wait for the summer to be over. I hate boys. Boys are utter wastes of time and......
I miss you mom. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm an awful daughter, and I know I deserve this awful camp. I promise that when I get out of here (if ever) and see you again I promise I'll be a great daughter and I won't ever mess with awful boys ever, ever again.
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